Static Zine was recently in Chicago for the Chicago Zine Fest to table the 6th issue, Elsewhere, which is all about other places. Managing Editor Melody Lamb recaps the experience below.
In Jimmy Fallon-fashion, I will now take some time and write some thank you notes to the people, places and things of Chicago.
Thank you, The Bean, for being a giant outdoor mirror. I was able to check my make-up AND take a photo of myself without looking weird.
Thank you, Big Star, for filling our bellies with beer and tacos, all for under $20. You know those commercials where people look at their receipt, think that the cashier forgot to ring in half of their items, and run out before they get caught? That’s exactly how I felt. Except I was too full to run.
Thank you, Uncle Frank, for showing us around the city. I will always look at those bridges and think, “that’s where that Transformers scene takes place.”
Thank you, Chicago Zine Fair, for being a giant pile of talent.
Thank you, cute zine boy, for being the first person to pay for my solo zine, Hello Goodbye. I hope you enjoy my witty stories and don’t judge me too harshly. Also, my Twitter account is on the back on the zine, follow me and be my friend, please.
Thank you, Quimby’s, for stealing all our money. I mean, in return for all of the books and zines, but still.
Thank you, CTA, for tying your subway lines in a knot and calling it a loop.
Thank you, Rock ‘n Roll McDonald’s, for fulfilling all of my wildest fast food dreams. No thank you to the creepy guy working there who stared at me the whole time as I dropped ice cream on my dress.
Thank you, Chicago, for being as wonderful as I (don’t) remember. Four-year-old me might not remember much, but 22-year-old me will never forget the wonderful times we had on this trip. See you again in a few months for Pitchfork Fest!
Aviva and Melody gained a lot of weight this year. We’d show you a before and after picture but we’d rather not. Just trust us when we tell you that they’ve both gone up a size or two. They regret nothing. They are warriors of food, ready to slay every ‘best of’ list and will stop at nothing until they throw up. (How these two have friends, we do not know)
Here’s a recap of the foods that made them fat this year..
Aviva’s Top 5
Burger’s Priest / Pie Shack
The Pie Shack is a short streetcar ride away from Burger’s Priest. Why is that? What’s their angle? They should have a shuttle bus for when i inevitably get gout in both my feet. I spent my summer going to either or and sometimes both in one day. My heart clenches at the thought.
My order: The Option (the closest we have to Shake Shack’s shroom burger) with fries and then off to get some bumbleberry pie a la mode (i like my pie warm and my a la mode cold).
Holy Chuck
I ordered the Grazer, their veggie option (panko-crusted portobello mushroom burger stuffed with feta and cream cheese) stacked between two grilled cheese sammies. I also had fries, a milkshake and funnel cake. I woke up at 3 a.m. and puked my guts out. You win Holy Chuck, you win.
Morimoto
Iron Chef Morimoto’s restaurant in NYC. This was part of the Treat Your Self ’11 Tour. Most def one of the best meals I had this year. Toro Sashimi and Braised Black Cod with a ginger soy reduction — melt in your mouth piece of fish and so rich I got drunk off the meal or maybe it was all the lychee cocktails I had, who knows.
Bouley
New York Cares: michelin star tasting menus for lunch. NBD! My gentlemen pals required jackets, for lunch! This is how the other half lives. This is the type of place where you would take your wife on your 20th wedding anniversary to hide the fact you are cheating on her.
The Dream:
- Amuse bouch courtesy of the chef
- Jumbo white French asparagus and roasted green asparagus with pencil asparagus, basil dressing, in a comté cloud (A CLOUD!)
- Carpaccio of kampachi, big-eye tuna, and striped amber jack,
- Black cod marinated with pistachio miso, organic buckwheat, ginger aromatic sauce
- Chatham skate with pineapple, anise, sancho pepper, celery root purée, and micro celery salad
- California organic orange flesh melon soup with fresh ricotta sorbet
- Hot caramelized anjou pear with Valrhona chocolate, biscuit breton, hot toffee sauce, lemon verbena, and Tahitian vanilla ice cream
At the end of the meal we stood up, dropped our forks on the floor and walked out like we were better than everyone, because we were.
Bannock
This meal filled me with more emotion than the Bon Iver concert we saw later that evening. Forget everything you thought you knew about tacos. I have been slowly working my way through the cities best fish tacos, but pickerel on steamed soft buns (topped with caviar tartar), you stole my heart.
Honorable Mentions:
Stuff Inside Other Stuff
I baked a lot of stuff inside other stuff this year, maybe I am subconsciously trying to fill the hole inside of me: cookie stuffed cookies, pies inside cakes, mini pies inside cupcakes, cupcakes inside eclairs, etc. In the end, my dog got diabetes.
All Of The Cocktails
You got me through some tough times, boys.
Shake Shack
The Original. Never Forget.
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Melody’s Top 5
Sky Blue Sky
Delicious (and affordable!) sandwiches, free wifi, good music and the most wonderful owner ever. How am I not secretly living at Sky Blue Sky? I don’t know. Sky Blue Sky is more magical than Disneyland. #weloveyouchad (This is also where Static Zine got to throw its first launch party.)
La Carnita/Grand Electric/anyone that made tacos
I used to work at a Mexican fast food joint almost 4 years ago. It was a terrible job but I got to eat Mexican food every day. Naturally, I got sick of it and for a few years there I couldn’t even look at a taco without feeling sick. 2011 brought tacos back, though. Thanks to pop-up events, new restaurants and BlogTO’s best tacos list – Aviva and I are slowly eating our way through that list – I’ve discovered a new appreciation for these meat-filled shells of deliciousness. And a special kudos goes out to TacoTime ($5 for 5 tacos – it’s as horrible/awesome as it sounds) and Big Fat Burrito for satisfying my taco needs when I’m poor. (Bonus: I even celebrated my birthday this year with a taco night; I deserve an honorary sombrero) #MEWANTTACOS
Mother’s Dumplings
Mother’s Dumplings is a combination of good food and an even better location. Since it’s literally around the corner from the Static HQ, most of our pre/post meeting meals take place there (heck, we’ll even make excuses to have meetings there). And we don’t cheap out, either. Two or more plates per person. Every time. Do the math. And that is why I need to buy a new pair of pants now. (It was worth it) #futuredumplingmakers
Momofuku Restaurants
David Chang, you magnificent bastard. When I went to New York a month ago, I let my sister pick the hotel and, of course, we ended up staying down the street from Milk Bar, one of Momofuku’s chains. I was there every day. Cereal milk, pork buns, cookies galore – just thinking about it makes me drool a little. Toronto needs fifty of these, ASAP. We also went to one of Chang’s other restaurants, Ma Peche. It’s fancier and more expensive but definitely worth every piece of fish I ate that night. Halibut pot pie – that happened. New York knows how to make you fat. #ilovenyc
Swiss Chalet
Look, when your boyfriend lives right next to a Swiss Chalet and you’re feeling lazy, it happens. (And of course, it’s followed by dessert, a nap and hours of watching TV) #relationships
Shout Outs to:
Vanilla Coke
A long time friend and honorary member of the Static team.
La Banquise
Toronto poutine just isn’t the same. Remember that night I had the poutine with 4 meats? Good times, Montreal.
Livewires
Candy that you can only find at 7-11 or specialty candy stores. Sugar highs that last all night. Thanks to these things, I now know what’s on TV at 4am. Answer: nothing.
Everyone who ate with us this year
Yes, we’re trying to drag you down with us.
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A special thank you to all the food truck events this year. We showed up early, we strategized and we conquered. Thank you, Toronto, for finally embracing food trucks and pop-ups. You have a special place in our heart of hearts (we now require two hearts).
Those who know me know that I love cats. If I could kidnap every cat in the world, I would. (Please don’t call the cops on me, it was just a hypothetical statement!) But since I can’t cuddle with 80 cats in my bed – I actually don’t own any cats – the internet has been kind enough to treat us to some friggin’ adorable cat memes. When I tell people I’m “working on an assignment,” I’m really just drooling over these cute, furry memes of awesomeness. Here’s a recap of some of the finest feline memes of the 2011!
I’m glad I’m not the only one who stares at album covers and thinks, “Man, what would that look like with cats on it?” Dear bands, in the future, save us all this work and just put cats on all your album covers. Please and thank you. Okay, dogs too if you want. But that’s it!
The internet put two of our favourite things together this year in the most magical meme ever (I don’t count Disneyland as a fave because I know crazy-evil people who hate it). Sure, going to Disneyland is fun and all but going with the (unoffcial) Sexiest Man Alive and a bunch of cats? Get out of my brain, internet.
3. The eHarmony Cat Lover
Watching this video is like watching myself. “I want them in a basket and with little bow ties. I want them to be on a rainbow and in my bed. And I just want a house full of them and I just want us to roll around.” ME TOO, DEBBIE. ME TOO. If I was single and a lesbian, Debbie and I would be married in a house full of cats by now.
When I finally finish school and get a real job, my co-workers better be cats. Business cats.
5. Nyan Cat
Only on the internet can a three and a half minute video of an animated flying cat be the most captivating thing ever. Some people might find this annoying but I find it adorable. Also worth checking out: MEXICAN NYAN CAT. IT’S A TACO.
